Rants!

A word from the next T-shirt baron

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 22:10:45 GMT

A proper update is definitely in order, but I just haven't felt like writing lately. It's not that there isn't anything going on; it's just that when I sit down to type, nothing comes. Oh well.

I have begun selling T-shirts. For real. Check out my store...

http://www.cafepress.com/teh_jess

There will be many, many more to come. That is all for now.

wumpus wasn't always happy, there were cold times, darkness. people who hit...

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 19:58:01 GMT

Memorial Day

Tue, 26 May 2009 02:34:22 GMT

This seems appropriate to post today.

http://www.mapthefallen.org/

The day before

Fri, 22 May 2009 00:04:25 GMT

Aside #1: There are times when the only thing that keeps me from losing it is the thought that maybe someday, I will learn how to use the Force. You know, like on Star Wars.

Kim went to Townsend today (where we will be getting married this time tomorrow) to square away the final business for the wedding. It turns out that our so-called wedding "planner" added incorrectly on our initial estimate... and that she now wants us to cough up another $2,000. Tomorrow. She wants it all tomorrow. Kim asked about the possibility of us simply making payments, and she was not willing to settle on that.

A year ago, Kim and I arranged our finances so that we could make monthly payments in order to have the wedding fully paid for by the time we say "I do". We certainly could have made more adjustments to pay another $2,000 had we known about this months ago. While I have more than enough credit available to cover two grand, I am not willing to dump that sort of credit burden on myself because somebody else cannot fucking ADD. It is simply not going to happen.

Aside #2: The nice thing about being a local chairman for a union is that you learn a lot about negotiating and leverage.

So here's how it's going to be: This "planner" is in no position to negotiate. There IS GOING TO BE a wedding on her property tomorrow, whether or not I fork over $2,000. I am going to TELL her that we will be happy to make payments. For her to expect a couple to pull $2,000 out of their asses when they've spent the last few months paying for all sorts of miscellaneous wedding expenses is appalling, ESPECIALLY when it was her mistake in the first place. She is not going to get her $2,000 tomorrow, period.

So back to the Force thing. If I could just give her a Darth Vader-style choke hold, I'm sure she'd see things my way. Of course, if I try it and it doesn't work, I'm going to look pretty silly. But I still think it might be worth a try. It HAS to work one of these times!

I struggle with music

Sat, 16 May 2009 14:36:18 GMT

I wrote this a week ago, but our internet service was on the fritz so I was unable to post it. I saved it, so here it is:

The wedding is in two weeks, and only one thing is stressing me out: picking the music for the reception. The last time I had to pick out a musical line-up for anything, I was a DJ at the college radio station, and my audience was about two people. Needless to say, I was able to play anything I wanted to, and I did.

A wedding reception is a little different. There is a certain, specific set of music people expect to hear at wedding receptions, and that stuff doesn't appear on my favorite music list. Not even close.

From the time I was at the age of picking out my own music, I can count on one hand the number of times I've encountered another person who had almost the same interests as I have. I'm an oddball. For the most part, I'm utterly disgusted with pop music. Scratch that - I'm utterly disgusted with just about everything that you hear on FM radio. It's boring, dull, and severely lacking in talent and effort.

That being said, I'm also considerate of our guests. I can tell you for a fact that nobody there is going to want to hear any Scandanavian death metal, nor will they want to hear any techno-rave music. Except for my sister; she'd be into that stuff.

I spent a good chunk of yesterday looking through my collection of thousands of MP3's, so that I could put together a list of songs to send to the DJ. Not counting the ones that didn't pass through the Kim filter, I came up with twenty six songs. That's about 1% of all my MP3s.

That's as far as I got.

Law should require that people have at least a 120 IQ before they can drive, vote, or own a firearm

Thu, 14 May 2009 00:37:49 GMT

I was thinking of writing a big rant on this, but I think the title sums it up nicely.

Rock!

Mon, 11 May 2009 12:16:24 GMT

The wedding is less than two weeks away, and only one thing is stressing me out: picking the music for the reception. The last time I had to pick out a musical line-up for anything, I was a DJ at the college radio station, and my audience was about two people. Needless to say, I was able to play anything I wanted to, and I did.

A wedding reception is a little different. There is a certain, specific set of music people expect to hear at wedding receptions, and that stuff doesn't appear on my favorite music list. Not even close.

From the time I was at the age of picking out my own music, I can count on one hand the number of times I've encountered another person who had almost the same interests as I have. I'm an oddball. For the most part, I'm utterly disgusted with pop music. Scratch that - I'm utterly disgusted with just about everything that you hear on FM radio. It's boring, dull, and severely lacking in talent and effort.

That being said, I'm also considerate of our guests. I can tell you for a fact that nobody there is going to want to hear any Scandanavian death metal, nor will they want to hear any techno-rave music. Except for my sister; she'd be into that stuff. At the same time, I don't want to have the exact same wedding reception that everybody else has, especially with regard to the music.

I spent a good chunk of yesterday looking through my collection of thousands of MP3's so I could put together a list of songs to send to the DJ. Not counting the ones that didn't pass through the Kim filter, I came up with twenty songs. That's about 1% of all my MP3s. Isn't that sad? I looked through everything at least three times, and all I could come up with was twenty songs.

An open letter to the post-lobotomy patients on GM's board of directors

Tue, 28 Apr 2009 00:12:50 GMT

Dear morons,

I read today that part of your predictably idiotic restructuring plan includes cutting 21,000 more jobs and phasing out Pontiac. That will leave you with Chevrolet, GMC (the division that makes Chevrolet pickups with GMC grills), Buick, Cadillac, Hummer, and Saturn. Let's think about this.

Pontiac is the one division that sort of, slightly appeals to youthful car buyers. I've driven a Pontiac G6, and if I were in the market for a car, it would absolutely be my first pick. If you want to attract youthful buyers (that might turn into loyal, lifetime customers), your best bet would be to keep Pontiac around.

Chevrolet has been the bread and butter of GM for about a century, and it should remain so. Cadillac is an obvious keeper; they really are world-class luxury cars, and they have always been technologically ahead of the curve. Saturn is sort of in their own universe, and apparently there is room for Saturn in that universe. That leaves Hummer, GMC, and Buick.

Why have you decided to keep GMC? There isn't a single GMC model that isn't an exact copy of a Chevrolet model. Does it make sense to have two divisions that make the exact same vehicles? No.

It's hard to talk about Hummer with a straight face. You were dreaming up Hummer models at the same time as you were abandoning your early electric vehicle program. Fucking brilliant. Why anyone would want to drive a gas-guzzling vehicle that looks like a lunch box is beyond me. Hummers are the embodiment of everything that is wrong with GM. Yet, you decide to keep them? God damn you.

And lastly, you're keeping Buick. Buick - the cars for old people. You could make a contest based on finding someone driving a buick who was under 50 years old. Here's a news flash - the people who buy Buicks are GOING TO DIE SOON. In case you can't connect the dots, that means that in about ten years, NO ONE is going to drive Buicks. Isn't it logical to phase out Buick? A Buick is just a slightly less flashy Cadillac, anyway.

Pontiac isn't even on my top three list of divisions that GM should phase out. But what do I know; I'm only right about everything.

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 05:00:27 GMT

An open letter to the GOP

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 02:56:16 GMT

With all due respect and consideration, you guys need to set your party straight. Seriously. I mean, on the national level, your party has gone mad. It would be funny if there wasn't so much at stake.

The Republican platform now consists of rabidly opposing anti-gun legislation that doesn't even exist, organizing "patriotic" tea party-style protests against taxes (at a time when over 90% of people are seeing LOWER taxes), and griping about deficit spending right after the last three Republican presidents had no problem at all with $8 trillion in deficit spending. Oh, and don't forget about how they're now trying to scare straight people into thinking that treating gays like equals and allowing them to wed will somehow bring our civilization to ruin. Really? These are the issues that you think matter most to the country? If this is supposed to be a joke, it flopped. Time to regroup.

The rest of us are willing to look beyond the fact that the policies and actions of your party are precisely what led to our current foul predicament, but we are not willing to put up with kooky nonsense. Learn from your mistakes, ditch the wacko fringe, and come to your senses. If the GOP ever wants to win back moderates, they're going to have to come out of their hole and try to appeal to people who don't necessarily belong to a militia in northern Idaho. Showing that they have a grasp of basic arithmetic would also help with regard to taxes and deficit spending (hint - some of us actually give a shit about that, you know).

Come on, guys, get a grip. You're making fools out of yourselves.

...same as the old boss

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 02:49:09 GMT

If I had to make a list of the top five most appalling travesties that occurred under the Bush regime, the warrentless wiretapping of American citizens would definitely be on that list. The idea that the government can listen in on anyone's phone call at any time is deeply disturbing. I mean, that's the kind of shit I expect from China or the former Soviet Union.

Barack Obama won in 2008, thanks in part to the righteous outrage of the people with regard to Bush's utter contempt for the law. Now, Obama has actually taken Bush's stance on warrantless wiretapping... and advanced it even further.

Here's a good place to start reading about it: http://crooksandliars.com/susie-madrak/obama-doj-embraces-bushco-fisa-argume

So much for hope.

Glen Beck loves his country!!!!!!!!!!1111

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 12:24:06 GMT

I can't believe I almost forgot to share this! It starts out pretty boring, but the money shot begins around 1:44 followed by one minute and thirty seconds of comic gold. How much am I loving the continuing melt-down of the neoconservative movement? Very much, thank you!

White's

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 22:09:10 GMT

Every year, the company gives me $110 towards a new pair of work boots. I have abnormally narrow feet, and every year it seems that fewer and fewer boots are available in a B width. In the past, I've always bought Red Wing boots, because they met my three requirements: they lasted a long time, they were very comfortable, and they were made in the US. Unfortunately for Red Wing, they have recently failed two of my three requirements. The boots I used to buy almost annually are no longer available in B width. Not only that, but they are now made in China. Congratulations, Red Wing, you just lost one of your best customers.

It was time to come up with a contingency plan.

I've always wanted a pair of White's boots. White's are like the ~~Cadillac Eldorado~~ Rolls-Royce of work boots; there is no finer work boot in the world, period. They have been hand-made in Spokane, Washington for over 100 years, and they still are today. So I went to the shoe store, got measured and sized, and dropped $407 on a pair of White's boots. Fuckin' A, Ray. I would rather spend $400 on an American-made boot than spend $40 on a Chinese one, anyway.

I've been wearing them for two weeks now, and I can say definitively that these are the best boots I've ever worn. They are comfortable, and extremely well put together. Everything I've ever heard about them is true, except for the part about them being difficult to break in. I seem to have the same type of foot that they modeled their boot after, so there was virtually no break-in required. I've been walking along the ballast line at work (lots of loose rocks and generally poor footing) all week, and at the end of the day my feet don't hurt a bit. I couldn't say that about my old Red Wings, even after they were well broken in.

If you've ever been on the fence as to whether or not to try a pair of White's, I say go for it. They are worth every cent.

(Cross posted to econ_patriot)

Confliker'd

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 22:20:50 GMT

Journalism is DEAD.

If there was one single journalist out there who stuck to the basic rules of investigative reporting, the story of the big, bad confliker virus would have died months ago. Since mainstream news agencies rely on stories that serve no other purpose than to either scare the hell out of people or inform them about utterly meaningless and trivial stories from Hollywood, it does not surprise me that no one out there bothered to speak up.

I googled "confliker" today, and guess what? The NUMBER ONE RESULT was this:

http://www.searchsecurityasia.com/content/confliker-downadup-worm-hype-get-facts

Here are some notable quotes from the article, if you don't feel like reading the whole thing:

-- "Security vendors from across the spectrum have warned that a stingy worm has been successfully exploiting a hole in Microsoft Windows server service. Known as Confliker or Downadup, the worm spreads by exploiting a remote procedure call (RPC) vulnerability. The flaw was patched by Microsoft in October."

-- "North America does not even rank in the top 10 countries infected by the worm."

Oooo, pretty scary, huh? More meaningless fluff from your lazy, apathetic news media.

Prepare for idiocy

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 22:41:41 GMT

Here's a mind-blowing, blow-to-the-head stupid ad for the day:

That's right. Yellow teeth is WORSER than acne. Worser. Holy shit.

This ad came up when I signed out of Myspace today, to remind me about the moronic simpletons who have somehow become richer than I am. I mean, it can't be cheap to place an ad on Myspace.

If I were to place an ad on Myspace, where millions and millions of people would see it, I would at least make certain that my grammar was better than a six year-old's.

For $7,000, I better get to fly the damn plane!

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 23:11:29 GMT

Kim and I are looking at a trip to Australia for our honeymoon. She's been checking out flights to find the most economical way there, and she has made an interesting discovery.

If you want to fly first class to Australia, you better be ready to shell out an amount you could make a downpayment on a house with. We're talking $7,000! For $7,000, I better get to fly the damn plane!

The flight is only around $1,000 - $1,200 (ha, only!) if you want to fly coach. So, what justifies a fucking SIX THOUSAND DOLLAR difference for a 15 hour flight? I mean, if I were to be served five-star, gourmet meals all day long with complementary non-stop lap dances from the girls of a Vegas revue, it MIGHT be worth seven grand. If they were to hold the Super Bowl aboard the plane, and I was to get first row seats on the 50 yard line, I MIGHT consider paying seven G's. Now, if I got to take controls of the 767 and do barrel rolls all the way to Australia, THAT would be worth it!

The price for flying business class is even more ludicrous; we're talking five digits. For ONE FLIGHT.

I don't have much else as far as info for the rest of the trip; I just thought I'd do a little mini-rant there about obscene plane ticket prices.

Unite

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 03:50:40 GMT

Unions were never a big deal when I was growing up. In fact, I didn't give any thought to them at all until I worked my last job at a steel shop. Now, there was a place that needed (and still needs) to unionize. Lucky for me, I landed a union job right before the second Great Depression hit. I don't take my good fortune for granted; once you're on the inside of a union looking out, you start to wonder why more people don't unionize.

My job is safe. I have absolutely zero concern about losing my job. I am a bit concerned about the guys at the bottom of our roster, but I think they'll be safe, too. I have some of the best health insurance that a person can get. My wage is written in stone, and I have almost as many holidays as bankers get. In the past two years, I've seen my wage increase by 20%. No matter what the economy does, I will get another 3 1/2% raise in July. That was the agreement between my employer and the union, and it will be honored. I don't have to take any shit from management. If my boss throws a temper tantrum, I can make two phone calls and end his career. If management gets stingy on safety equipment, all I have to do is get the union involved, and the problem gets fixed - right now.

With all that being said, I am appalled by the anti-union rhetoric in the media as of late. HOW DARE they even HINT at the idea that unions are somehow bad for the country! If it weren't for unions, American workers would be a disposable commodity, just like Chinese workers. In today's global economy, there would be nothing to stop employers from lowering wages to compete with countries whose workers have no minimum wage. If it weren't for unions, there'd be no such thing as a 40-hour work week, and overtime pay would never have been dreamed of.

If you find yourself getting fed up with your employer taking away personal days, or not giving raises where it's due, or overworking you so they can give a bigger piece of the pie to the executives, you should consider unionizing. I have given some serious thought to approaching some of my old friends at that steel shop for the sake of telling them how much better things would be if they were to unionize. I still might.

If the Employee Free Choice Act finds its way through Congress, it will be a lot easier to form a union in the near future. Workers will be able to unionize without corporate intimidation. The country desperately needs this. Wages in terms of real dollars have been declining. The middle class is shrinking. The obscenely rich are getting richer, and the poor are having to cope with less and less. The decline of the middle class is tied to the decline of unions, and it is time for that trend to stop.

The next Joseph Stalin (or TNJS)

Thu, 05 Mar 2009 04:57:41 GMT

As I have written in the past, I have many, many strange and irritating things happen to me when I am behind the wheel. These things happen to me waaaaayyyyyy more often than they happen to normal people. Trust me, I have witnesses; I'm not crazy here. It seems to me as if forces in the universe align against me very frequently when I am driving.

The universe had a lot of fun at my expense today. I'll spare all the little stories, save one.

I was driving the company truck in town today on my way to one of my crossings. I was following a large, moving van-type truck, when it suddenly stopped. It sat there, for no apparent reason, stopped in the middle of the road. And of course, this was right in front of - you guessed it - me. The truck could have gone a mere 50 feet further and had room to completely pull off of the road, but noooooooo. For at least three minutes it sat there, and I sat behind it, dumbfounded. My helper asked, "Can you go around him?" I replied, "Fuck it, we have until three o'clock, right?" Three o'clock was quitting time. I was in a stare-down with the universe, and I wasn't going to be the one to blink... as long as the stare-down didn't go past three.

When my helper was first assigned to me, he thought what most rational people would think - he thought that I was crazy, and that I was overreacting to what he originally thought was a normal amount of traffic hassle. He has since come around, and now is well aware of just how much crazy shit happens right in front of me.  He asked me the other day if I had done something horrible earlier in my life to deserve this constant barrage of bad karma, and I couldn't think of anything. Then I said, "What if this bad karma is for something that hasn't happened yet? What if I become the next Joseph Stalin? That would explain this!" It all made sense.

That was good for a laugh.  The next Joseph Stalin and his helper laughed.

If I could just be the Joseph Stalin of traffic rules, that would be enough for me.

A sad story

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 04:37:19 GMT

I guess Paul Harvey kicked the bucket this weekend. That's not the sad part, at least for me. The sad part is that I was going to buy doughnuts for my old crew in Billings when Paul Harvey died, but the Krispy Kreme store closed there last year! They were the only ones in town who would deliver doughnuts, so now I'm S.O.L. Oh well. Maybe I'll think of something else to send.

To understand my feelings towards Paul Harvey, read here. Or, the first paragraph here.

I will honor now honor Paul Harvey in my traditional style - with a Haiku:

Paul Harvey is dead
"News and Comment" really sucked
He won't lie again

Barack's final solution!

Sat, 28 Feb 2009 00:29:59 GMT

There has been a lot of wacko, right-wing racists spouting off about how Obama is the anti-Christ, or the next Hitler, or some other ridiculous and historically ignorant comparison. Thinking about that got my brain working, and it took me in a surprisingly happy direction.

Suppose Barack Obama is the next Hitler, and the target of his oppression is - get this - white supramecists. That's right - picture concentration camps being erected all over the country, where all these ignorant, dumbass, redneck motherfuckers will be able to watch from behind bars and razor wire as their predictions are proven true: Barack Obama was indeed the next Hitler.

Once all the white supremecists are rounded up and starved, executed en mass, tortured, experimented upon, poisoned, gassed, and buried in mass graves... THEN maybe the Hitler comparisons will be fair. But until then, can these people please shut the hell up about Obama being Hitler? I mean, at least until he's exterminated six million white supremacists. The guy has already done more good for the country (and by "country" I mean THIS country, America - not Iraq) in his first month than Bush did in eight years.

How's this for a Hitler comparison? Try to figure out who I'm talking about, Adolph Hitler or George W. Bush:

He used fear and lies to frighten his country into a war of aggression against a country that was tragically inferior in terms of military might - and that posed no real threat. He used hired merceneries who ran amuck, killing civilians of the occupied country without consequences. He kept a lazy media in the dark, so that no one would question his actions or motives. He changed definitions and laws to allow anyone - including citizens of HIS OWN COUNTRY - to be locked up and tortured, with no access to legal representation and without even charging them with crimes. He created an atmosphere in his country where dissent was viewed as unpatriotic and treasonous.

So who am I talking about? Answer: I don't even know which one I'm talking about, since ALL OF THE ABOVE CAN APPLY TO BOTH PEOPLE.

Now, if you can give me an Obama/Hitler comparison that beats that, I'm all ears. Until then, I'm going to go Bruce Lee on the next person who calls Obama Hitler.

Grow stronger

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 23:52:06 GMT

Kim and I went and cut the year's first load of wood this past weekend. I haven't been in the forest since probably November - in fact, I've been pretty sedimentary during the last few months. It's amazing how much of a wuss you turn into in just a few months of inactivity. We were mostly working in slash piles, so there was very little limbing or cleanup to do. Despite that, I was worn out by the end of the day. The next day my calves (?) were sore as hell. What a wuss! Anyway, it was good being back in the mountains. I will always enjoy going up there.

I typically gain about 20 pounds in the winter, and lose it again in the spring. This year is no different, as the only real exercise I've had lately has been Wii Boxing. Don't laugh - if you haven't played Wii yet, you wouldn't believe how good of a workout you can get playing it. After I dish out an hour or so of Wii Boxing beatdowns, I am rewarded the next day with aching biceps. I'm going to keep doing it to see if I actually build muscle doing this.

I've also made a concious effort to eliminate high fructose corn syrup from my diet, as suggested by goldielox. I've even stopped drinking pop, which is a pretty big deal for me. Up until recently, I've had one Mountain Dew every day for probably the past ten years or so. With my god-like will power, I managed to quit cold turkey. It's funny; when you start looking for high fructose corn syrup, it's EVERYWHERE. Avoiding it altogether is almost impossible.

I don't really expect to see any physical changes until I go back to full-scale logging again. There aren't many things that build upper-body strength faster than operating a 14 pound chainsaw for 8-10 hours.

Oh my GOD, shit's fucked up! (a very vulgar rant)

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 00:21:20 GMT

Is anyone else sick of this shit yet? The government is spending your great great great grandchildren's money to bail out the biggest, most corrupt companies in history. Those companies are using your money to refurnish extravagant corporate offices and to buy private jets. Holy shit.

These rich motherfuckers just don't get it. If they keep dicking around like this, they're going to have a fucking violent revolution on their hands. I mean, just how much money do they think they need? Is there some game I'm not aware of where individual people are trying to accumulate ALL the money?

The word "socialist" gets thrown around a lot these days - usually in a derogatory manner. I'm a socialist, and here's why: I don't think it's right for a company like Merril Lynch to spend our tax dollars (via the bailout) on a $86K rug, a $35K commode with legs and a $1500 dollar trash can for the CEO's office, especially when Americans are going hungry or are unable to afford going to the doctor. A $35,000 toilet? A large percentage of Americans couldn't buy that with a year's wages! I bet I could craft a toilet out of one dollar bills that would be cheaper than $35,000.

I'm a socialist because I don't think it's right that working people currently bare more of a tax burden than the rich. I don't think I should have to sacrifice so that a rich person can be richer. In fact, I think it should be the other way around; if you have more to spare, you should be taxed more. Is that crazy? Fuck, I can't believe I'm even having to write this. This whole country has lost its god damned mind.

I think that if you can afford a huge house and a nice car, and you can provide a reasonable amount of leisure to your family, then you should be taxed more. In the case of the richest 0.5 percent, I think they should be paying a 90% income tax. You read that right, 90%. Why? Because back when America was a decent and respectable country, THAT'S WHAT THE TOP INCOME BRACKET PAID!!!

Sooner or later, the government of this country is going to have to learn something that is easily grasped by a fifth grader: if the budget is in the red, we either need to cut expenditures or increase taxes. That's just the way it is. The idea that lowering taxes will somehow magically fix everything is ludicrous, and anyone who argues that point should be flogged.

We got to this point thanks to the Republican party and their 30 year crusade to brainwash the American public into thinking that deregulating everything and giving tax breaks to the rich is somehow good for us. What do we have to show for those 30 years? A ten trillion dollar debt, a banking system in ruins, and a $1,500 trash can. It is time for this nonsense to stop.

So far, Obama's biggest mistake is to even consider bipartisanship. When the policies of a party put us in the toilet, we need to flush that party, not work with them.

Work

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 13:23:48 GMT

Work in general is still awesome. In my previous jobs, I started to burn out a little bit by this point. Not so with this job. I still enjoy the hell out of it, and the people I work with are great. I could easily do this for the next thirty years.

I've been assigned to do some steel fabrication at work this week. It's nothing major; just a new stand for the welder on my truck and a tool basket for the section truck. I am a little surprised by how nice it is to be welding again. I guess it's like alcohol; when you do it in moderation, you don't end up getting violently ill.

As I mentioned before, I'm also the local chairman for our union. Since our little short line railroad has almost no contact with anyone from the main line up north, none of the guys have any real experience when it comes to union issues. I've been trying to study our contracts and speak with local chairmen from other divisions to improve our situation here, and it is getting better. There really is no substitute for experience, though.

Kim and I will probably begin the logging season this coming weekend. The weather has been unusually nice, and there isn't enough snow in the mountains to prevent vehicle traffic. I'm fairly confident that we'll be able to blaze a trail to our little cutting spot. The cool thing is that I already have the first three loads sold - as soon as I can cut them. Money is a little tight right now, so the extra cash would be very welcome.

That is all.

The alledged pictures

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 00:21:05 GMT

At long last, the pictures from the End of Bush's Horrible, Horrible Presidency party.

Here, we have the carefully crafted George W. Bush pinata:

George preparing for certain doom, while suspended from the rafters of my garage:

Josh #1 (who somehow remembers me from college, which was like eight freakin' years ago) throwing a shoe at George:

Kim taking a shot:

George lost his head when somebody chucked my steel-toed work boots at him:

Bill and Kim doing their best to prepare George for another shoe:

George saw no other alternative than to try to hide in the rafters:

Bill, Josh, and Tera lighting some fireworks - while it's like 10 degrees out:

Bill, about .005 seconds before he attempts to blow his hand off:

Bill frolicking in a winter wonderland around the yard - most likely celebrating the fact that Bush is no longer president (or that he still has a hand):

Celebratory shots in the West Wing of the Burnett Compound:

Celebratory shots in the East Wing:

Bill with the prize:

It was awesome that so many people could make it. I had a blast, and I hope you all did, too.

Deep thoughts about euthanizing the neighbors dogs

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 23:54:49 GMT

I know that I've written before about my horrible neighbor's horrible dogs, but I must again vent.

In my neighborhood, there are roughly ten dogs within a half block radius. Sadly for our hero, it is only the dogs next door to me that bark constantly. They bark:

- when someone walks by.
- when no one walks by.
- when atoms are in motion anywhere in the universe.

I have spoken with my neighbor several times about it, and I once called the city's Dog Nazi to come to her house and chew her out (which was awesome!). However, nothing has changed. She just doesn't give a fuck that her dogs bark ALL. THE. TIME. She apparently doesn't give a fuck that her yard is full of dog shit, either; it's so bad that her cat won't even shit in her yard anymore. Instead, it comes over to my yard to do it.

I have thought of many solutions to this problem, but all of them would result in me going to prison for anywhere from 6 months to 100 years. Normally, I would just let your imagination run with that, but not this time. Solutions include:

- killing the neighbor's dogs with a hatchet, shotgun, pistol, chainsaw, tire iron, sword, dynamite, pitchfork, antifreeze, English long bow, or just my bare hands.
- killing the neighbor with a hatchet, shotgun, pistol, chainsaw, tire iron, sword, dynamite, pitchfork, antifreeze, English long bow, or just my bare hands.
- kidnapping the dogs, and selling them to a seedy Chinese and/or Mexican restaurant.
- getting my own pet... say, a domesticated mountain lion that feeds on noisy dogs.
- setting the dogs free, then calling the dog catcher (who will charge her $80 every time to get the dogs back). Every day.

OK, I wouldn't go to prison for that last one, but it's still a fun idea.

I don't know what to do. When I come home from work, I usually just crank up the music loud enough so that I cannot hear them. I don't want to do that forever, because I'll probably end up losing my hearing. I honestly get so angry at those dogs that my brain creates graphic visualizations of killing them in gruesome ways. Hey, you have your way of coping with problems, I have mine.

I would like another alternative. I would like to be able to come home to a nice, quiet neighborhood, where I could sit outside and enjoy a beer after work without listening to 100 barks per minute. Better yet, I would like my neighbor to move away, so I could buy her property and expand the Burnett Compound by another lot.

P.S. I have pictures from our post-Bush celebration a few weekends ago, and I'll be posting them shortly.