?

Log in

Rants!

Tread lightly, like the ninja...

July 19th, 2009

The Fence

Share
Bill
I don't think I've written about my neighbor's abomination of a fence. 

My neighbor has two dogs that are completely undisciplined.  They are so out of control, she has to keep modifying her fence to keep them from attacking peoples' faces.  Seriously; at one point, the fence was the perfect height for one of the dogs to jump up, grab onto the fence, and bark ferociously at passers by right at face level.  My neighbor is so awesome.

So anyway, up until recently, there have been four phases of The Fence.  Phase One was my original fence; a basic chain link fence that stood about three feet high. 

When one of the dogs started jumping the fence and getting into my yard, Phase Two of The Fence was erected.  Phase Two of The Fence brought the total height to about 4 1/2 feet.  Here's the best part... Phase Two, which was simply built ABOVE Phase One, is a TOTALLY DIFFERENT style of fencing than the original chain link, so it was an unholy eye sore.  On to Phase Three!

It soon became clear that more work was needed, as Phase Two was the phase that allowed the dog to jump up and bark right into your face.  Thus, Phase Three was added - an extension to Phase Two, but only in the corner where the dog would jump up, and of course - a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT style of fencing than the other two phases!  For real!

This weekend, Phase Four emerged - a simple, square lattice of thin pieces of wood that sort of covers Phase One.  At this point, I do not understand the purpose of Phase Four, but I do know this - my neighbor should be charged with crimes against humanity and put on trial at the Hague for her atrocity of a fence.

For your viewing pleasure, here's a fun drawing to help you understand The Fence.  I could simply go out there and snap a picture, but this is way more fun (clicking on it will make it much clearer):


Can you kind of see why I sometimes think the universe is just a huge plot to drive me nuts?

July 16th, 2009

Montana's lone U.S. Representative, Denny Rehberg, is suddenly super, super concerned about federal deficit spending.  It's strange, because I never heard a peep from him when Bush and the Republican-controlled Congress were busy doubling the national debt.  Now, suddenly, it's a huge deal.  Gee, I wonder what changed?

Anyway, here's what he had to say in a recent mass e-mail:


 
Out of Control
What the National Debt Means for Montanans

The spending taking place in Washington, D.C. has reached unprecedented heights.

Our national debt, as of June 30, was $11,545,275,346,431 ($11 trillion and “change”).

Your share and the share of every other Montanan: $37,609.23

Since the beginning of the Democrat-run Congress on January 3, 2007, the national debt has grown $2.9 trillion.

Your share and the share of every other Montanan: $9,342.83.

Since President Obama took office the national debt has grown by $918 billion.

Your share and the share of every other Montanan: $2,991.72

In the month of June, the national debt increased by $223.7 billion.  Spending that much in one month is the same as spending $7.5 billion a day, $310.7 million an hour, $5.2 million a minute, or $86,295 a second.


As of the end of April, the United States owed China $763.5 billion, with over $36.1 billion of that occurring in this year alone.  We owe Japan $685.9 billion.  To oil exporting nations like Saudi Arabia, Venezuela, the United Arab Emirates (UAE), Bahrain, and Kuwait, the U.S. has a debt of $189.5 billion.

And now, the Democrat's budget adds more debt than all other Presidents in our country’s history – from George Washington to George W. Bush – combined.



See, I might consider listening to him if he had any constructive ideas to put on the table.  The only call for action I have ever seen him make was when he urged people to join one of those ridiculous "Tea Parties" awhile back. 

While I'm spouting off here, I have a suggestion for Montana's senior senator, Max Baucus:  stop bringing so much federal money here to pay for highways. Mile for mile, you could spend 1/10th as much money to upgrade rail lines, and the improvements would last four times longer.  It's time we started shifting to a more efficient method of moving people and merchandise.

OK, back to my rant.  Here's my thing about deficit spending:  when hundreds of billions of dollars are being spent on a war that never had any sort of actual justification, that pisses me off.  When the debt is being ran up to the moon so that rich people can have a tax break, that makes me want to storm the streets of DC with a chain saw.  But when the debt is being run up to do things like, you know, save the world's system of banking or salvage what's left of America's atrophied economy - I can live with that. 

How do we pay for it?  Easy:  tax the living shit out of the super-wealthy.  They have gained the most from the success of this nation; now they should have to pay most when times are tough.  I want a president who is willing to tax the richest 1% at a rate of 125%.  You read that right.  Getting taxed like that for about thirty years would make up for them having it so easy for the last thirty years.  Pay down that fucking debt, already!

July 14th, 2009

A proper update is definitely in order, but I just haven't felt like writing lately. It's not that there isn't anything going on; it's just that when I sit down to type, nothing comes. Oh well.

I have begun selling T-shirts. For real. Check out my store...

http://www.cafepress.com/teh_jess

There will be many, many more to come. That is all for now.

May 25th, 2009

Memorial Day

Share
Unfuck
This seems appropriate to post today.

http://www.mapthefallen.org/

May 21st, 2009

The day before

Share
Unfuck
Aside #1: There are times when the only thing that keeps me from losing it is the thought that maybe someday, I will learn how to use the Force. You know, like on Star Wars.

Kim went to Townsend today (where we will be getting married this time tomorrow) to square away the final business for the wedding. It turns out that our so-called wedding "planner" added incorrectly on our initial estimate... and that she now wants us to cough up another $2,000. Tomorrow. She wants it all tomorrow. Kim asked about the possibility of us simply making payments, and she was not willing to settle on that.

A year ago, Kim and I arranged our finances so that we could make monthly payments in order to have the wedding fully paid for by the time we say "I do". We certainly could have made more adjustments to pay another $2,000 had we known about this months ago. While I have more than enough credit available to cover two grand, I am not willing to dump that sort of credit burden on myself because somebody else cannot fucking ADD. It is simply not going to happen.

Aside #2: The nice thing about being a local chairman for a union is that you learn a lot about negotiating and leverage.

So here's how it's going to be: This "planner" is in no position to negotiate. There IS GOING TO BE a wedding on her property tomorrow, whether or not I fork over $2,000. I am going to TELL her that we will be happy to make payments. For her to expect a couple to pull $2,000 out of their asses when they've spent the last few months paying for all sorts of miscellaneous wedding expenses is appalling, ESPECIALLY when it was her mistake in the first place. She is not going to get her $2,000 tomorrow, period.

So back to the Force thing. If I could just give her a Darth Vader-style choke hold, I'm sure she'd see things my way. Of course, if I try it and it doesn't work, I'm going to look pretty silly. But I still think it might be worth a try. It HAS to work one of these times!

May 16th, 2009

I struggle with music

Share
Unfuck
I wrote this a week ago, but our internet service was on the fritz so I was unable to post it. I saved it, so here it is:


The wedding is in two weeks, and only one thing is stressing me out: picking the music for the reception. The last time I had to pick out a musical line-up for anything, I was a DJ at the college radio station, and my audience was about two people. Needless to say, I was able to play anything I wanted to, and I did.

A wedding reception is a little different. There is a certain, specific set of music people expect to hear at wedding receptions, and that stuff doesn't appear on my favorite music list. Not even close.

From the time I was at the age of picking out my own music, I can count on one hand the number of times I've encountered another person who had almost the same interests as I have. I'm an oddball. For the most part, I'm utterly disgusted with pop music. Scratch that - I'm utterly disgusted with just about everything that you hear on FM radio. It's boring, dull, and severely lacking in talent and effort.

That being said, I'm also considerate of our guests. I can tell you for a fact that nobody there is going to want to hear any Scandanavian death metal, nor will they want to hear any techno-rave music. Except for my sister; she'd be into that stuff.

I spent a good chunk of yesterday looking through my collection of thousands of MP3's, so that I could put together a list of songs to send to the DJ. Not counting the ones that didn't pass through the Kim filter, I came up with twenty six songs. That's about 1% of all my MP3s.


That's as far as I got.

May 13th, 2009

I was thinking of writing a big rant on this, but I think the title sums it up nicely.

May 11th, 2009

Rock!

Share
Unfuck

The wedding is less than two weeks away, and only one thing is stressing me out:  picking the music for the reception.  The last time I had to pick out a musical line-up for anything, I was a DJ at the college radio station, and my audience was about two people.  Needless to say, I was able to play anything I wanted to, and I did.

A wedding reception is a little different.  There is a certain, specific set of music people expect to hear at wedding receptions, and that stuff doesn't appear on my favorite music list.  Not even close.  

From the time I was at the age of picking out my own music, I can count on one hand the number of times I've encountered another person who had almost the same interests as I have.  I'm an oddball.  For the most part, I'm utterly disgusted with pop music.  Scratch that - I'm utterly disgusted with just about everything that you hear on FM radio.  It's boring, dull, and severely lacking in talent and effort. 

That being said, I'm also considerate of our guests.  I can tell you for a fact that nobody there is going to want to hear any Scandanavian death metal, nor will they want to hear any techno-rave music.  Except for my sister; she'd be into that stuff.  At the same time, I don't want to have the exact same wedding reception that everybody else has, especially with regard to the music. 

I spent a good chunk of yesterday looking through my collection of thousands of MP3's so I could put together a list of songs to send to the DJ.  Not counting the ones that didn't pass through the Kim filter, I came up with twenty songs.  That's about 1% of all my MP3s.  Isn't that sad?  I looked through everything at least three times, and all I could come up with was twenty songs. 

April 27th, 2009

Dear morons,

I read today that part of your predictably idiotic restructuring plan includes cutting 21,000 more jobs and phasing out Pontiac.  That will leave you with Chevrolet, GMC (the division that makes Chevrolet pickups with GMC grills), Buick, Cadillac, Hummer, and Saturn.  Let's think about this.

Pontiac is the one division that sort of, slightly appeals to youthful car buyers.  I've driven a Pontiac G6, and if I were in the market for a car, it would absolutely be my first pick.  If you want to attract youthful buyers (that might turn into loyal, lifetime customers), your best bet would be to keep Pontiac around. 

Chevrolet has been the bread and butter of GM for about a century, and it should remain so.  Cadillac is an obvious keeper; they really are world-class luxury cars, and they have always been technologically ahead of the curve.  Saturn is sort of in their own universe, and apparently there is room for Saturn in that universe.  That leaves Hummer, GMC, and Buick.

Why have you decided to keep GMC?  There isn't a single GMC model that isn't an exact copy of a Chevrolet model.  Does it make sense to have two divisions that make the exact same vehicles?  No.

It's hard to talk about Hummer with a straight face.  You were dreaming up Hummer models at the same time as you were abandoning your early electric vehicle program.  Fucking brilliant.  Why anyone would want to drive a gas-guzzling vehicle that looks like a lunch box is beyond me.  Hummers are the embodiment of everything that is wrong with GM.  Yet, you decide to keep them?  God damn you.

And lastly, you're keeping Buick.  Buick - the cars for old people.  You could make a contest based on finding someone driving a buick who was under 50 years old.  Here's a news flash - the people who buy Buicks are GOING TO DIE SOON.  In case you can't connect the dots, that means that in about ten years, NO ONE is going to drive Buicks.  Isn't it logical to phase out Buick?  A Buick is just a slightly less flashy Cadillac, anyway. 

Pontiac isn't even on my top three list of divisions that GM should phase out.  But what do I know; I'm only right about everything.
Powered by LiveJournal.com